Monthly Archives: June 2005

more & less

8 things to spend more time doing…

1. Listening.
2. Having non-quickie sex.
3. Giving sincere compliments–to your mom, your friend, that random woman on the street with great shoes.
4. Thinking before you open your mouth.
5. Exploring all the places that AREN’T in the guidebook.
6. Being naked–and not just while you’re waiting for your lotion to soak in.
7. Strategizing your next win.
8. Having friends over for dinner: Who cares if it’s just take-out?

…and 8 to spend less time doing

1. Checking out who’s getting fired, voted off, Botoxed, or dumped on reality TV this week.
2. Staring at your pores, split ends, or navel.
3. Measuring your thighs.
4. Making excuses.
5. Hanging out with ex-boyfriends.
6. Feeling guilty about what you said in 1997.
7. Trying to change him (or waiting around for him to change).
8. Living by anybody else’s rules but your own.

-from Glamour, March 2005


special K

Kindness is one of the most undervalued commodities–which is too bad because it doesn’t take much of it to turn the day around. I wonder if we overlook kindness because it’s so simple. What’s really involved? Someone needs something, we help. Someone feels low, we console. Someone trips, we catch them. There’s a need, we respond. Then the other person is grateful and relieved–and we’re happy knowing we could help. Kindness is a low-effort, high-return exchange.

-Joan Duncan, from Happiness: How To Find It And Keep It

to think

And that was what now she often felt the need to of–to think. To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing, expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk, with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself… . When life sank down for a moment, the range of experience seemed limitless.

-Virginia Woolf, from To The Lighthouse

in place

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

-Zen saying

our finest moments

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

-M. Scott Peck

the good guy

You want a man who can make you laugh when you’re down and who laughs with you when you’re up, a man who listens and asks questions and responds. A man who rubs your feet to put you to sleep and who goes out for cafe mochas when you have to stay up and who knows that on those working all-nighters the answer to any question involving whipped cream is yes. You want a man who’ll wash your hair, who’ll cook you dinner, who’ll talk to your father on the phone when you can’t bear to, who’ll read to you on trips, and who’s happy when you read (or sing or dance) for him.You want a man who when he finds out that there are $199 fares to Kona suggests you go with your best girlfriend while he stays home and takes care of your dog. You want a man who will drive that same dog around all night when he is hallucinating and howling after the vet gave him too much postsurgical morphine, because you are up for promotion and have an interview with the dean at 8 a.m. You want a man who loves many things: his work, his landscape, a sports team, his friends. You want a man who knows that love is not a pie, that sex is not a sport, that faith (in the world, in each other) is a little like a full-time job. You want a man who knows that women have a secret, and even though he can’t know what it is, he is smart enough to want to live in its light. Most important, you want a man who can continue to surprise you, for a week, a month, a year, a lifetime, which is to say a man who has a big imagination, and who is willing to use it to win your heart.

-“And Then There’s the Good Guy,” by Pam Houston

*Pam Houston is a novelist and didn’t meet Mr. Right until she was 39.

it’s all in your mind

Well it’s all in your mind
It’s all in your mind
Well it’s all in your mind

And I wanted to be
I wanted to be
Wanted to be your good friend

-from “It’s All in Your Mind,” by Beck (that’s Becky without a Y, heehee)